A year ago, today, my life, and health had spun drastically out of control. I was taking so many pills, I could have put a flashing sign in front of my house, that said ” Pharmacy”.
My Lupus was flaring almost weekly, and friends had begun questioning my ability to apply blush, due to the Butterfly Rash that was a permanent fixture on my face. The constant rash, throbbing joints, and daily headaches were a mental, and physical buzzkill.
My marriage had fallen to tiny shards, in the wreck that had become my life. My husband worked over 70 hours a week, and had no qualms about avoiding me mentally, and physically. He routinely sat in front of the T. V., if he wasn’t at work, reminding me, ” I am TRYING to watch this!” ( This is said with a simultaneous eyeroll by him) Needless to say, I had learned that forever meant, as long as I am quiet…. I went in search of happiness on my own.
On February 21st, 2010, I moved out, taking nothing with me, but clothes, my precious son, and his toys. I didn’t want my boy to grow up thinking that ours was a model for marriage, or life. We came to live with old friends, and I went to work on someone who has been neglected for longer than I would like to admit….me.
In the course of the year, I found happiness, mentally, physically, and spiritually. I no longer am dictated by pain, to bombard my body with painkillers. I still have pretty horrific pain, but choose clarity of mind, over that type of, ” Stick your head in pillow “, relief.
I learned who my friends are. Those people who choose me, because of my” Stranger Than Fiction” quirks, and love me regardless. I have learned to love that dreamy, creative, and nonsensical girl that is me.
Last, but not least, I found someone who loves me for all of these things, and more….I am reshaping my forever.
Is this a, ” Happily Ever After?” YES. Am I rolling my eyes? NO. Why???? It’s all mine, that’s why!!!!
